The Journey Is the Destination

Was it the prospect of turning fifty?  The recent deaths of both parents? A mini-midlife crisis?  Perhaps it was a little of each, galvanized by the reading of Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods, that prompted the idea:  Sometime during my fiftieth year, I would walk 50 miles.

OK, I can hear some snickers: “Wow, I’m impressed, Iron Man!  What’s next, climbing K2?”  Point taken.  This was more of a symbolic gesture to celebrate a half century of living. 

The Half Century mark came and went, overshadowed by an international move and new job responsibilities.  Though on the back burner, the goal was not forgotten, aided by the fact that I had mentioned it to several friends, who asked periodically, “Hey, whatever happened with that walk you were going to take?”

Now, where to walk?  Now that we lived in Europe, there were innumerable intriguing possibilities.  Then one day over coffee, a second idea hit me:  Why not reach my goal and at the same time make it sound really impressive?  I could walk across an entire country!  And that country would be Belgium’s small neighbor to the southeast, the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.  I could imagine myself at some future dinner party, where, by omitting one word (Luxembourg), I could casually remark, “Why yes, Margaret, I had a similar experience on my recent trek across an entire country.”

This small country, a duchy since 1354, has been invaded many times throughout history, ruled over by such leaders as John the Blind, Philip the Good, and Charles the Mad.  And now it would be traversed by Don the Getting Old.

Although many Belgians may yawn when you mention Luxembourg, we were fond of it, having made the two hour drive several times. We were drawn to the northern half of the country, with its forests, rivers, hills and rolling farmland.  In contrast to the more industrialized south around Luxembourg City, this area is sparsely populated and ideal for an extended walk.  After several trips to reconnoiter and hours poring over maps (I love maps.), I had selected the route. Combining the walk with leisure time with Cheryl, it would span four days.

The only problem was that northern Luxembourg is only 25 miles across, so the actual border-to-border crossing would only be two of the four days.  Our base of operation would be the lovely town of Clervaux.  I would begin by walking one day in Belgium, and then three days around Luxembourg.  This account begins at the western border with Belgium and Day Two.

I had checked the extended forecast before and the next ten days showed the same symbol:  a black cloud, sun peeking out above, rain falling below.  (If a meteorologist in this region decided to sleep in and phone in their forecast, they would usually be safe by gambling on this symbol.)  This September day began with rain and a temperature of 48F (9C).  Today’s hike would take me along a two-lane highway through hilly farmland, with striking vistas in all directions.  I donned rain gear and was on my way.  I carried a small backpack with water, reading material for rest stops, and lunch.  (One thing I wish I had taken was my binoculars for birdwatching.)

I passed through small villages – Lullange, Doennange, Deifelt, Lentzweiler – some little more than a cluster of three or four farmhouses.  A few had cafes, most of which were closed.  Except for the faces in cars whizzing past, I saw few people about, other than a few farmers in the fields.

In the villages, the houses are built flush with the narrow roads.  Outside of town, houses have small yards, immaculately manicured and lushly planted.  Every window of every house has a planter of red geraniums, contrasted against the white, cream, or yellow stucco walls of the perfectly symmetrical house.  I am struck by the absolute tidiness of everything.  In the few open garages, a typical sight is a wall covered with a variety of types of push brooms, squeegees, whiskbrooms, dustpans, and other implements of neatness.  The farmhouses outside the towns are part of a larger complex which also includes barns and sheds.  Only by distinguishing the types of doors can I determine which part is for human habitation and which for animal.  Attached to a corner of every house are one, two, or even three mini-satellite dishes. 

Everything seems to be built with an eye for quality and permanence.  Even the rural bus stops are constructed of stone, with slate roofs.  (Close one in and I would take it as a small study in my home.)  Luxembourg is also extremely well-signed; if you get lost in this small country, you are seriously direction-impaired.  Every intersection of even tiny roads has neat yellow signs giving you the directions and distances to every small village around, and the next junction just 200 meters down the road confirms that you are still proceeding in the right direction and that your destination is now 200 meters closer.

I stopped for a rest in Lullange at a café, Berger Blanche (“White Shepherd”).  I hesitated at the entrance, a simple door, feeling as if I were walking into someone’s home.  The discomfort lingered after I entered.  The only other customer was Woody Allen’s dopplegänger (with shoulder-length stringy hair and sporting a turquoise sweatsuit), who was talking to the waitress at the bar.  As I chose one of the three tables, they immediately stopped talking, leaving the room quiet except for the faint techno music coming from a tinny speaker overhead.  After a few moments, they resumed their conversation, I relaxed, ordered a coffee and read the newspaper. 

Luxembourgers have been variously described as simple, hardworking folk, both reserved, and friendly.  My first impression was that they certainly edged toward the reserved end of the spectrum.  For instance, I spent three days walking along small roads and encountered hundreds of on-coming cars.  My informal survey results:

Farmer’s wave (index finger lifted from steering wheel)      1

Other fingers raised                                    0

Head nods                                                    1

Horn toots (interpreted as friendly)          1

Ignoring the invisible hiker                        497

The few people I encountered face-to-face in town followed suit.  As I’ve read about the culture, I interpret this not as unfriendliness but that they are not openly demonstrative toward strangers.  They have this in common with the French-speaking Belgians, with whom they have some common cultural roots.  (I realize that my cultural comfort zone is the US South, where folks greet you with a smile, nod, or hello.)

The miles passed quickly as I savored the picturesque surroundings.  Were it not for the cars and the satellite dishes, I could have imagined being in the 19th century.  Every few miles my senses were jarred by the sight of a modern gas station/convenience store – Esso, TotalFina, Shell – reminders of the global world.

The next day would take me the rest of the way across Luxembourg to the German border.  Leaving Clervaux heading east, I walked along a small highway lined by large trees.  Beyond the trees was rolling farmland and pasture as far as I could see.  A row of eight tall white wind turbines lined a far ridge, blades turning rapidly in the brisk wind.  Soon I was out of the open country and into the forested hills.  The road narrowed, the traffic thinned, and I was mostly alone.

(Warning!  Potential Triteness Zone Ahead)

I realize that I miss so much on my daily rush through life.  When I slow down, I am able to more fully experience the sights, smells, sounds, and textures around me.  I saw moss not as just green fuzz on a tree but as five or six different varieties, each with unique patterns.  I saw and heard a hawk gliding on the air currents above me.  I watched a long pumpkin-colored slug inching across the road (and cringed a few minutes later as a caravan of 30 motorcycles whizzed by me in its direction).  I smelled the pungent odor of mud and manure and mown hay.  I felt the cool rain and the warm sunshine on my face (several times each in any given day).  Walking forces you to take it easy and to enjoy the day to its fullest.  I made a mental note to slow down and try to carpe the diem more often.

                                                (End Triteness Zone)

Before I knew it, I was nearing the German border, designated by the blue and gold European Union sign just across the river.  In this isolated region, the border is fairly un-dramatic, a two lane bridge over the Sur River.  I got to the middle of the bridge and stopped, realizing that I had a foot in two countries.  Making sure no one was looking, I walked in a tight circle 20 times.  More cocktail party fodder – I could now truthfully say that I took 20 International trips in one day.  (The report:  1) It was not as exhausting as I’d thought it would be, 2) The jet lag was minimal.)

I walked into Germany under the gaze of a herd of border sentry cows, dispersed along the riverbank.  Like good bureaucrats, they were all on an extended lunch break.  I wasn’t nervous: They would have had a hard time leafing through my passport anyway.

Having reached the easternmost point of my journey, I stopped at a café to rest before continuing back toward town and the St. Hubert Hotel.  As my legs began to ache, I began to regret not paying the extra 250 francs (5.50 USD) for a room with a bathtub rather than a shower. 

The thirteen miles of Day Four would complete the 50-miles-in-four-days goal.  I had mapped out a scenic round trip heading north into the hilly, forested Ardennes.

The weather was dry for the first time in three days, and I set out with renewed energy and anticipation of one more day of solitude and communing with nature.  Other than a few cars, the area was deserted.  As I walked, my mileposts were rural bus stops, each with a bulletin board covered with layers of posters and notices.  Had I stayed over for the weekend, I observed, I would have had a wealth of social opportunities in the nearby towns.  Sadly, I had missed the Beach Party a few weeks before, but I could still dance to DJ White and the music of Main Street.  There was also the Ardennes Workhorse Festival, and the Grompenfest in Nidderwampich.  I’m not sure what a Grompenfest is, but the poster showed a caricature of an anthropomorphized potato being peeled.  (And you were beginning to think that Luxembourg life was boring.)

At the eight mile mark, I spotted a campground down by the river, and its entrance drive descending from the road was lined with small Diekirk beer signs.  I sensed coffee below and walked down to find a campground office/café.  When I walked in, it seemed closed, its coffeemaker empty and scrubbed clean.  As I turned to leave I heard footsteps from the back, and soon the owner appeared.  I said, “That’s okay, I was just looking for a cup of coffee,” and started to walk out, but he said, “Please come in!  I’ll make you a coffee!”  He brewed coffee, poured us both a cup and sat at the counter to chat.  He seemed quite excited to have someone to talk to.  (The typical Luxembourger speaks French, German, and Letzebuergesch, and many speak English as well.)

When I told him my route, he suggested a footpath through the dense forest that would lead me back to town.  I decided to follow his advice, so after finishing my coffee and bidding him farewell, I entered the darkened woods.  Once inside, the sense of solitude was total.  I followed the narrow trail up and down a series of steep hills until I came upon a startling sight:  the wreckage of a British WWII plane strewn along the hillside, under a thick canopy of tall trees.  There were markers commemorating the crew, shot down while returning from a secret mission.  (There are constant reminders of WWII in eastern Belgium and Luxembourg, the sites of numerous horrendous and significant battles.  There are cemeteries, memorials, American Flags and vintage machinery of war all around.  Small towns might have a tank or artillery piece positioned in a prominent place, reminders of both a terrible war and the liberating role that Allied Forces played.)

I emerged from the woods and rejoined the road for the last mile to my final destination, relieved that the home stretch was downhill all the way.

One detail of the fourth day had an as-yet unrealized significance:  The day was Tuesday, September 11, 2001.  We arrived home back in Brussels around 3:00 pm (9:00 am EST) and turned on the television to witness a second airliner crashing into the World Trade Center.

As I’ve reflected on this for the past weeks, I’ve sensed (as we each have) a shifting of priorities.  Perhaps my thoughts on slowing down and making each day count aren’t so trite after all.

Stayin’ Alive

As I look out my hotel window, past the palms and golden sand to the sparkling water of the Arabian Sea, I realize that this, my fourth trip to India, will be different.  For starters, I am not in the huge cities as before, with their noise, pollution and claustrophobic crowds.  I am in Goa, the southwestern Indian state distinctive for its Portuguese heritage and its popularity as a resort area for Indians and foreign tourists.

Because of 451 years of Portuguese rule (1510-1961) this is an area unlike the rest of India, with crumbling Catholic cathedrals next to Hindu temples, where adjacent roadside shrines venerate the Virgin Mary and Ganesh the elephant god.  The local newspaper might announce the marriage of an Ashish Romero and Parul Salazar.  A local high school is named Saint Francis Xavier.  Houses with red tile roofs can be seen under the dense tropical canopy. 

Goa gained fame in the 60’s and 70’s as a counterculture mecca, where thousands of hippies of all ages converged on the beaches to engage in a variety of chemically-enhanced activities and/or to seek spiritual enlightenment from  gurus in numerous ashrams and communes.  The scene is much tamer now.  Possession of drugs can lead to prison time, and the beaches are mostly deserted at night.  You still see the occasional leather skinned, pony-tailed, bearded 70 year old with a backpack, but most of the modest beach hotels are filled with middle class Indians or package tour groups.  Most of the foreign tourists seem to be European middle-aged couples.  The women lie on beach towels, sunburned and sometimes topless, and the men appear bottomless, with tiny tight Speedos disappearing from sight under protruding bellies.   Beached on lounge chairs, they while away the hours being waited on by the staffs of small ramshackle beach huts scattered in the nearby dunes.

We are here at the Fort Aguada Beach Resort to conduct a five-day leadership development program for 25 senior managers of a large Indian company.  The program is to begin tomorrow morning, and the participants are arriving throughout the day, so we have the afternoon free.  These are vice-presidents and general managers from various lines of business throughout India.  Our Indian host is Vineet, Vice President of Human Resources, who is an energetic and fun-loving  35 year old, dressed in khaki shorts and a polo shirt.  He has invited me to accompany him and his two assistants on a parasailing boat ride on the sea.  After 20 minutes of spirited bargaining with competing boat owners, he closes the deal, which includes an armload of large bottles of Kingfisher beer thrown in for good measure.  “You can’t go out on a boat without beer!” Vineet explains, and it seems perfectly logical to me.  I ride in the boat and watch the others parasail. (Been there, done that, no thanks!)

My training partner, Terry, is a friend and colleague from Australia. The program begins on Monday, and the challenges are great.  English comprehension is a struggle on both sides – They are hearing English spoken with a Texas drawl and Aussie accent, and we are hearing it in every imaginable Indian version.  These guys (It’s all guys.) are warm, open and enthusiastic.  They range in age from 35 to 60.  There is a clear hierarchy, with the younger managers deferring to the older.  During the times of classroom discussion, it feels a little chaotic to us westerners, for whom discussion means a more orderly “turn-taking”, no interrupting, and controlled expression.  Many eastern cultures have different norms around discourse, and we are now managing numerous simultaneous conversations, people talking over one another, finishing each other’s sentences.  We end each day both energized and exhausted.

The best times are after hours, over drinks or dinner.  We are fascinated by the stories we hear about what it is like to be a leader in a huge company in such a diverse country.  One manager, in charge of a manufacturing plant in rural India, bemoans the fact that after an expensive modernization effort that included the installation of indoor toilets, most factory workers still prefer to relieve themselves in the fields adjacent to the plant as they have always done.  Another tells of rebel insurgents who have infiltrated his plant and are fomenting unrest.

Thursday night arrives, and the first four days have been a huge success.  Everyone is ready to relax on this last evening together.  We eat dinner on a cliff overlooking the sea, under a canopy of twinkling white lights, sipping Indian “Champagne”.  (Honest, it says so right on the bottle.)  At the close of dinner, we retire to the bar, which Vineet has booked exclusively for our group.  I arrive a few minutes late, and the group is quietly sipping drinks around large tables.  Vineet, clearly trying to whip the sedate group into a festive mood, gets up and enters the DJ’s booth near the dance floor to queue up some music.  (This bar is transformed into the local disco on weekends.)  All of a sudden, the sound system is booming – the Bee Gees are singing “Stayin’ Alive”.  Vineet comes out grooving and urges his co-workers to get up and dance.  I survey the male/female ratio (28 to 2, counting the two female HR assistants.)

I have always found it endearing that in India it is not uncommon to see males walking arm in arm or holding hands.  This cultural trait makes a dance possible in a crowd with 28 men and 2 women, and a dance ensues.  The two young women lead the way as they get up and dance with each other in a corner.  Soon 5, then 10, then 20 men are dancing in another group across the room.  (I feel like a chaperone at a middle school dance!)  They come and grab Terry and me and pull us to the dance floor.  The music volume increases and has shifted to the Village People singing “YMCA”.

I am now way out of my comfort zone.  When in high school I never enjoyed what we called “fast dancing”, and come to think of it, that was probably the last time I did it!  Thank heavens it’s dark and no one seems to be dancing with any one particular partner.  The two women soon tire and move to the table for a breather, so it’s just us guys now.  So we just move to the beat of one American disco song after another, courtesy of DJ Vineet.  I look around and have a feeling that is hard to describe:  I’m laughing to myself in wonderment:  I see a Senior Vice-President holding hands and dancing with a Chief General Manager.  A turbaned Sikh Director twirls with a CFO to the strains of Donna Summer.  There is laughter and merriment all around.  From my cultural perspective, this is surreal, and I am thinking how lucky I am to be experiencing this, feeling exhilarated and truly alive.

Now something amazing happens.  The DJ puts on a different type of music.  The beat is the same, the volume is unchanged (deafening), but the language is now Hindi.  Before, we had been dancing to music I was familiar with, but now it is music to their ears!   The emotion and energy level changes noticeably – The few remaining holdouts leap to their feet.  The dancing crowd laughs and shouts, lost in the passion of the moment. 

The dancing style of this mostly-middle aged group of guys reminds me of a cross between the Twist and belly dancing.  There are a lot of hand movements and gyrations.  My style, on the other hand, is to attempt to synchronize my movements approximately to the beat of the music and to keep from injuring innocent bystanders.  I am dancing, trying to remain inconspicuous and feeling self-conscious, when one of the younger managers circles by me and briefly becomes my dance partner.  As the music blares, he looks at my hands, and I look down at them, too.  I realize they are clenched into fists as I move stiffly.  He mimics my close-fisted style, grins, shakes his head and wags a scolding finger.  Then, as he continues to dance, he pantomimes “Do it this way”, coaching me to open my hands and to reach skyward, which I do.  There may just be a valuable lesson for me here, I think, as I continue to dance with my 27 partners on into the night. 

Making Serendipity Happen

My first time in Riga, Latvia was one of those distinctly unglamorous business trips: a three-hour flight from Brussels, a day of client meetings, a quick hotel sleep before an 8:00am flight home. We would return to Riga a number of times in subsequent years to what became one of our favorite European cities. But no tourist time on this first visit.

My plan is to eat a quick dinner in the hotel restaurant, check emails and then turn in early, given my early morning flight.  Weary after a long day, I’m at the entrance to the hotel when a poster pasted on the wall to my right catches my eye.  Its bright graphics announce a performance tonight at a local blues club, featuring the “Latvian Blues Band”, with special guest artist “Willie ‘Big Eyes’ Smith”.  It is that Willie “Big Eyes” Smith reference that arouses my curiosity.  I read on the poster that he is the former drummer and sideman for the U.S. blues legend Muddy Waters in the 1960s.

 I had already pictured myself sipping a beer at the hotel bar, so the pull of inertia causes the initial thought of “Nah”.  But there is a split second where the curious, adventurous voice in my head speaks up, leading at first to a “Hmm…” and then morphing to “Why not?”  So I head to my room to change clothes, and soon I’m on the street in search of the Bites Blues Club. 

I tentatively enter this small club around 9:00pm and find a seat at a long table with benches.  The place is empty, and there is the band of five or six young musicians and one wiry guy looking to be in his sixties rehearsing on stage.  For a full hour I watch as they run through a practice session, with the featured guest frequently stopping a song to coach the young drummer on a certain rhythm he wants to hear in that particular song.  And these young guys are really talented!  I don’t know if they have lived the Blues, but they can certainly play the Blues!  Their front man wears an apron with maybe 12 different harmonicas in small pouches. I later learn that they were the first European band to play at the Chicago Blues Festival.

 I’m glad I have arrived early to get a good seat, because the place is packed by 10:00pm – with the exception of my table, curiously empty.  Then someone taps me on the shoulder – the club manager, who says, “I’m sorry, but this table is reserved for the Ambassador and his party.”  Flustered, I stand to leave, but a man stops me and says, “No problem, we have plenty of room.  Feel free to stay!” It is the Ambassador from Spain.  For the next few hours, I sit with them as he and his entourage chat with me, shouted over the top of the music blaring from the nearby stage. 

At a certain moment, I become aware of what I am in the midst of, in what is almost as an out-of-body experience, feeling a sense of wonder and even joy.   I call such occurrences in my life a “pinch me” moment (as in, “Pinch me, I must be dreaming.”)  Here I am in Riga, Latvia, in a small blues club, listening to a group of Latvian guys and an old Chicago Bluesman, in the company of a group of Spanish diplomats.

And to think I almost ate a club sandwich and turned on the laptop.

So this was an experience of serendipity. By definition, serendipity is something unexpected that happens TO you – You are a passive recipient of surprising good fortune that happens by accident. But wait: Serendipity would not have happened if I had not resisted the temptation to stay in and had not gone out to check out a tantalizing possibility.

“Making Serendipity Happen” sounds like an oxymoron.  But maybe it is more of a paradox – two seemingly opposite things that both can be true.  We can sit passively and wait for serendipitous things to happen to us, or we can actively and repeatedly put ourselves in situations where serendipity is likely to occur!  This requires managing those “fork in the road” moments that often present themselves – those fleeting instants where the choice is either to slide into the comfortable, the familiar, the usual, or to make that little extra effort to consciously choose to explore the unfamiliar, the intriguing, the unusual.

For me, it is a sense of curiosity and adventure, honed and whetted over years of travel and interactions with other cultures. I’ve been fortunate to have had a career where travel has been an integral part.  Last year, on my first visit to Manila, I checked out the subway system, bought a ticket and rode around for an hour.  In Johannesburg in December, after some research, I sought out the Maboneng area of the central business district and had an amazing morning coffee and people watching on a sunny summer morning.  In Riyadh, I Ubered to a shopping mall with a large supermarket and explored the aisles.  In Delhi I accepted the gracious invitation of a colleague and visited an amazing flower market and Hindu temple.  I’m drawn to seeking out these experiences because they are almost always overwhelmingly positive and interesting – serendipitous!

Here are a few thoughts on what you can do to up the odds of putting yourself in the path of serendipity:

  1. Do your homework. You’ll notice in my examples above, I didn’t just go wandering aimlessly but rather did some research to pinpoint interesting places or events. And this is not just applicable to traveling – Keep your radar on to scan for local events and places wherever you are.
  2. Be observant. Pay attention to your surroundings.  If I hadn’t looked around me, I would have missed that Blues poster in Riga and had a very different evening.
  3. Make a little extra effort to show up.  When you’re invited somewhere, is your default reaction resistance? (Mine often is.)  Once in Moscow I was invited to an art gallery reception by two female colleagues from a client organization for an exhibition of paintings by a fairly well-known Moscow artist. As I studied one abstract painting, I was startled to clearly see the face (and body) of one of my two hosts!  She had posed years before and was a close friend of the artist.  It was an evening of interesting introductions and conversations with people I would not normally interact with.  And I almost didn’t go…
  4. Take an interest in other people.  I have several friends (and a spouse) who are much better at this than I am.  They take the initiative to meet new people and express genuine interest in them, which leads to new relationships and more diverse connections.

Each of these takes a measure of effort, but I believe they can be developed over time.  It is a combination of reprogramming our mindset and making certain choices.

 I recognize that in our current claustrophobic confinement, it becomes even more challenging, but if you look around you, it can still happen:

  • Getting a glimpse into work colleague’s personal lives when their kids Zoom bomb the meeting
  • Being able to look out your “office” window and watch those bluebirds over time build a nest, hatch eggs, and send their fledglings off on their own
  • Dusting off your bike and getting into nature rather than walking on the treadmill at your shuttered gym
  • Participating in events that you once would have had to pay for and travel to, which are now virtual and free
  • Experiencing the pleasure of attending a business meeting barefoot

The word “serendipity” was coined in 1754 by Henry Walpole, who based it upon an old Persian fairy tale, “The Three Princes of Serendip”. His description of his invented word to a colleague lends credence to my interpretation: He writes of these princes who make discoveries “by accidents and sagacity”. [italics mine]  Sagacity is not an everyday word, but it means discerning, insightful, or perceptive.  So pay attention to the opportunities in your daily life to make serendipity happen!